My social experiment - part deux

So when we left off, I had just gone to bed to avoid thinking about my mad lie and false advertising routine on a free dating site. I vowed that I wouldn't look at the inbox until I was able to delete the phony profile the following evening at 8. So off to work I went, trying to put it out of my mind.

Throughout the day, I found my mind wandering...part of me was flattered that men I didn't know found me attractive. The other part of me was angry that looks - and in particular, weight - play such a huge part in acceptance in society. Really, does an extra 120 lbs actually change anything about me besides my outer shell? If I believe in the results of my little social experiment, it apparently does. And if this is true, how unfair is that?! All day, I found myself playing this argument over and over in my mind...I'm the same person, so why am I so much more attractive now? And most importantly, are the successes that I'm enjoying now (mainly, a great personal life, a man I love and who loves me, a great new job, wonderful new friends) only due to the fact that I'm 120 lbs lighter? It really made me think. And then get scared. If I somehow gain back 120 lbs, will it all go away?

Needless to say, Thursday wasn't a very fruitful day at work for me. I teetered between being angry at my findings and scared at the implications of re-gaining weight. Wow, I didn't realize just how much this little experiment would affect me!

At promptly 8 p.m., I logged on and took a gander at the inbox. One hundred and nine emails, total. In 24 hours. Wow. I didn't know if I should be flattered or sad. In the end, I think I leaned more towards disappointed that we still live in a world that is so terribly judgemental towards people of size. I realize that it's probably naive to expect societal norms to change overnight, but I'd sure like to see some improvements. It also made me realize that this isn't a cause that I'm willing to let fall to the wayside just because I'm not labelled "morbidly obese" anymore. I hope this little experiment will make even a few readers notice the fat-biases that exist in our world today. And if you'd like to read some interesting news, legislation battles and stories about this fight to stop the bias, check out the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. Their website regularly inspires me to continue treating people of all shapes and sizes with respect, because if there's anything I've learned over the past 120 lbs, it's that you should never judge someone if you haven't walked a mile in their plus-sized shoes.

As for my phony-baloney profile, it's gone for good. And I have to say that I'm supremely happy that I'm in a wonderful relationship with a man who loved me when I was heavy, and who continues to love me at my current size. I was lucky to find him when I did :) To all my single gal pals, I wish you the best of luck splashing around in the dating pool...I have my fingers crossed that you find your Romeo, too!